Conversation With Your Inner Child

Who is your Inner Child? How old is he/she? When was the last time you talked? Ever? In the book The Power of Your Other Hand by Lucia Capacchione, she talks about connecting to your Inner Child through using your left hand to write down what you are feeling and thinking. You can create a journal for this purposeful writing. Now this is if you are right handed. The idea is that someone who is righthanded isn't as aware of their emotional right sided brain. This Inner Child work started back in the 60's with Transactional Anaylsis. Which is a type of therapy using role playing to connect with those parts of us that are our Critical Parent, Nurturing Parent, Rebelous Child, Frightened Child and so forth. Most therapists that used this method would ask the individual to move from one position or chair to another to become that part of them. In Lucia's book she is using the technique of writing to tap into that part of us, that is our frightened child or free willed child. By tapping into this creative emotional soul we can learn about those things that have limited us in the past.

Eat, Pray, Love

While watching this movie I was reminded about how we can get caught up in someone elses thoughts and desires and forget about our own. It doesn't have to take leaving the country to experience our transformation. Yet, it would be a glorious experience. I believe that the question to ask ourselves is "Are we living our truth?" If your answer is that you are not being authentic and truthful with who you are, then maybe you need to find your own quest for enlightenment.

What Are You Waiting For?

Is there something that you have always wanted to do or have, but either don't have the time or have some other excuse as to why you can't do it? If so, why? What are you waiting for? Look at all the reasons why you want what ever it is, then look at why you haven't received or done what it is to get it. What's holding you back? If it is money, what do you have to do to get what you need? If it's time, look at your schedule, what do you need to do to make it happen? You have the power to DO, BE, and HAVE what you desire....So go ahead and just create it!!!!

Creating A Happy And Fulfilling Life In The World Today

Do you ever wonder about your life? How's it going for you? Are you doing what makes you happy? Does it feel fulfilling? What do you feel you are lacking in your life? What would it take to create the happiness you desire? Okay, let's back track a little here. First off, do you believe that things bring happiness? If yes, do you have the things you desire to fill happy? If no, do you ever think you will have all you desire? Okay, if you feel that things are not what creates happiness then let's look at what does? How about your relationships, are they the way you want them? How is your relationship with yourself? Are you happy with who you are? If no, what do you want to do about it? How can you make your personal relationship with your self better? If you answered yes, then your other relationships should be pretty good as well. Since the primary relationship is with yourself. Answer these questions and see how you do. Life is a journey yet untapped...

Who Are You?

We know what we are, but know not what we may be----William Shakespeare
Can you see the future for your self? What is your life going to look like a year from now? Three years from now? Five years from now? How do you see your self being impacted by your decisions at this time in your life? Are you were you want to be? If not, where do you want to be in one year? three years? Five years?

Verbal Maturity

When we suppress our feelings for fear that those who we share our lives with, will judge us, or not understand us or refuse to accept us, then we block our ability to be verbal. We fail our self. To honor and recognize our true feelings we have to be able to express them, that is the only way to truely acheive emotional success and move ahead and grow. Our feelings are our way of knowing what is happening to us internally, when we suppress them and hold them in we can create physical stressors on our bodies. Disease is Dis-ease....Our uncomfortable feelings that we have held in and not expressed. What are we afraid of? Who is the most important person in your life? I hope you answered YOU! If you are so important to you then isn't it time to take good care of you? Express your feelinings, you'll be glad you did!

Rise Up!

Accountability, now that's a very big, strong and deep word. What does it mean? A position of power due to recognizing one's causative activity. Accountability implies the willingness to acknowledge responsibility to others, and the willingness to fully accept responsibility for one's actions and their implications. I think this is enough to chew on for awhile....What do you think?

So What Area ofYour Life are You Lacking In?

Okay, you are going alone at a great clip. Your love life is great, your kids are doing well. Work seems to be better than you expected, and, then it hits you. The refrigerator has gone on the fritz and the car needs a new air conditioner. As you try to jockey your finances around to pay for these unexpected expenses, you realize that you truly do not have the means to make these demands. How do you handle it? Well, one way is the obvious not get them fixed. Can you go without a refrigerator for your food? Or an air conditioner for your car? Not in Florida! So, what do you do? This dilemma can cause sleepless nights of worry and fret. Let's go back to the beginning. Could you have keep these unforeseen costs from happening? Probably not, unless you did a lot of quarterly maintenance on both of them. So, then what could you have done before it happened. Possibly preparing by putting aside a little extra money on a monthly basis, to take care of just something like this happening. Another possibility, is to look at all aspects of your life with a critical eye and evaluate if you are putting the same positive energy into each. If you see that an area is lacking, from fear or some other underlying negative belief. Then it's time to take a good hard look at it and see how you can change your thinking about it. By stopping the belief that you have lack in your life will help you to eliminate the lack. Your mind, as long as it sees it to be true will start to change the negativity and fear, to positive hope. Try it out! See if your life in all areas can be positive and happy.

Self Regulating Our Emotions

Have you every been told that you are too emotional. Or have you been questioned as to why you got emotional over a situation that "Wasn't that Bad".
Sometimes it is beneficial to take a look at why we have the intensity in our emotions such as anger, intense frustration, depression, or anxiety. Some things we can take a look at are identifying and labeling the emotion. Identifying the obsticles as to why are we not being able to change the emotion. Looking at how we can reduce the vunerability towards the emotion. Seeing more of the positive events that create the positive emotions. Increase our ability to stay in the moment, being present with ourself, not looking at the past or the future outcomes. Flipping the negative to a positive if at all possible. In this way we take better control over our emotions. Be your emotions best friend!

A Choice to Live or Die

In my work I have spoken to a number of clients about choices, rarely, do I get an opportunity to talk about the ultimate choice in life...Living or Dying. I recently had such an opportunity. My client had been on a destructive road for a very long time. Her path was created out of the limiting beliefs we all have, I am not worthy of....for her, it was that she was not worthy to live. But, when she was confronted with a true physical ultimatum, she was forced to make the difficult choice. What did she truly want? What she discovered was that she really wanted to live, not die. Even though she had been pursuing death's road, it really wasn't her real intention to follow through with this choice. Now is when the real work begins. Because of her decisions she has made in the past, her health has been put in jeopardy, which she now has to work very hard on her recovery. Will it be possible for her to get healthy again? Yes, with time and a lot of work. It will be challenging, but the effort will be well worth the struggle.

When Feelings Get Hurt

Far to often things are misunderstood or misinterpreted in relationships. We make assumptions and we have expectations and sometimes we get hurt. The problem is that the level of communication is not there. At times it is both our faults, but, at other times it is just a plain and simple not knowing. One person might have been thinking about something that happened in the past or was looking forward to something in the future and the other was just going with the moment. Take for example a partner who went to dinner with someone else and shared the experience with you. That partner was oblivious to your hurt in that you were not invited and if nothing is said, they will never know. Yet, you can stew over the dinner for a long time and it will come out at a later date in a very obscure way. If you communicate your displeasure right away it allows you both to talk about it and bring closure to it. It is very important to live in the present moment and not dwell in the past or look for things to happen in the future , it hasn't come yet and so therefore it doesn't even exist. Be present it is such a gift!

Ask The Question

Sometimes our perception of the world and ourselves is tainted with the rose colored glasses that we are wearing. We see ourself one way while others might see us in a totally different way all together. Have you ever thought about asking the question, "Who do you see me to be?" It might seem scary at first, but, you will never know unless you ask. And, who knows, the answer might surprise you and give you great pleasure. I have found that I don't always see myself as the way others see me and when I ask, I am pleasently surprised to hear their answer. I might feel that I am weak, and the comments that come back indicate that I am strong and capable. Awe perceptions! Try it! Of course, you want to ask those that you feel safe with, and that are there to support and love you. I would never ask someone that is not in my support circle, this question. I wish you good feedback.

In One Breath

In one breath our lives can change forever. In one breath we can go from being dependent,living at home with our parents. To being independent and out on our own. In one breath we can go from being single, to being married. We can in one breath go from being a person to being a mother or father. Our breath can be strong as we watch and pray for steadfastness and strength. Or our breath can be weak and soft as we hold our babies close with our hearts so full of a deep crushing love. In one breath we can see our life change forever through death or divorce. We can in one breath create a life of struggle and pain or take a breath of promise and hope for the joy that will ultimately reach our door.In one breath we can decide how we live and what we want to live for. In one breath we make the choices to create what our one breath holds. In one breath!

Emotional Sabotage

How many times have we experienced the unfortunate creation of emotional sabotage in our relationships. There is no intentional reason for doing it. It comes from the innocent unawareness of a limiting belief, but, it exists, and we do it without a conscious effort. What do I mean by Emotional Sabotage? It is in the thought that "I am not good enough to have this wonderful man or woman in my life". "The bubble is going to burst and they are going to discover who I really am". "My life is to complicated to have an intimate relationship with someone". "I can't afford to get hurt again, and I know that he/she will leave me eventually". Does any of this sound familiar? Before we know it we have failed before we even started. We force ourself to see things in a negative way, about a situation, so that we can prevent ourselves from the feeling of hurt.

Winning the Love Battle

When I first started to talk to people about the idea of self-love. There was that deer in the headlights look. Most of us don't know what self-love is, because we were never taught how to love ourselves. Somehow we were told that we had to be selfless, to love yourself was to be selfish. What is selfish? The idea of making yourself important above others to me seems to be what we all should strive to do. We cannot have joy and love in our relationships if we do not have joy and love for us first. Take the time to excercise the practice of self. Put yourself first before you start to give to someone else for one week. See what happens to you and your relationships.

Self Love and Harm

This is a very difficult subject. I work with many people who do not love themselves. The first thing they do is to blame themselves for what ever goes wrong in their life. "I'm bad," "You can't love me, because I'm unloveable", " I'm stupid I should have know better." Recognizing that these are lies that we tell ourselves from old beliefs, is the first part of self love. We don't have to believe those thoughts that do not serve us. Is it easy to change these thoughts? It takes work, but the awareness of recognizing them is truly the first step.

Journey into the Art of Loving

What makes me tick?
This is a question that I not only ask myself, but, I ask of my clients as well. We have to examine what it is that turns us on to our greatest potential. How do we tap into our inner strength? What do we need to fill us up? These questions are vital to creating the loving experience that we desire in our lives. By understanding who and what we are, and what we want to change within ourselves. Allows us to then choose how we experience and live our life's. By bringing our thoughts and feelings out into our awareness, we allow ourselves to change those things that do not benefit us anymore, and helps us to see the desires that we have always wished for. An example of this is Jill. Jill was in a bad relationship and wanted to create a better one. We worked together on what it was that she didn't want in her current relationship, and what it was that she wanted in the next one. The other question was, "Is this relationship she is currently in, filling her up or depleating her?". Once we established that she was feeling depleated, then we could work on how she could start to fill herself with loving energy from other sources. She is not ready to end her relationship yet, but with the awareness of what she truly desires she is taking the steps towards her goal.

Sorry For The Long Vacation

I have spent many months trying to decide what to write on, or at least to speak about, in a way that would be of importance to some. What happened was that I myself felt small and that created a very rough time in the pursuit of blogging. So, here I am, back now, with a better understanding of myself and what makes me tick. I think that I have gone to the depths of my soul in an effort to understand more clearly the Art of Loving. When I say that, I am truly talking about myself. I have discovered that loving myself is harder than one might think. Oh sure, I have thought I loved myself before, but then, there were those times that I critically examined myself and all my flaws in front of the mirror. Without batting an eye my inner voice would say, look at that how can anyone want you looking like that. So, again I would look away, lick my spirit and try to step forward into the cruel world that I created. It is interesting how I can work with clients on their issues and sit there and guide them into self loving, and yet if I only heard what I was saying to them....Oh, yes! Wow! I didn't think about that. The Art of Loving is my new journey. Join me!